Kids Are Resilient…Right?
2 minute read.
This story was written by Ella Grace at 60 years old. Her parents separated at 10. She gave permission for her story to be shared.
HER STORY
My parents had opposite personalities. Dad was extremely extroverted, Mom was extremely introverted. My dad was away a lot on business and my mom got used to running everything on her own. I wouldn't say they had fights, but my father would shout at my mother, call her names, and she would just sit there and cry. The final straw was when my dad met a young female coworker. She was more sociable than my mom and understood my dad's business dealings as she was in the same line of work. They fell in love. At the time, the prevailing attitude was that it was better for parents to split up than stay in an unhappy marriage. Kids were resilient and would be fine. So my parents divorced. Three months later, my dad married his coworker.
HOW THE DIVORCE MADE HER FEEL
At the time, I was relieved that all the shouting and crying were over. My dad lived in a big city and it was exciting to visit him. His new wife acted more like a big sister to me than a mother. She took me shopping and she was very fashionable, so my teenage self liked that very much. It wasn't until I was turning 40 that I realised how damaged I was from my dad's abandonment and the subsequent divorce. Unlike many children of divorce, I never blamed myself. It was very clear that my parents were mismatched and my dad was a bully.
HOW THE DIVORCE IMPACTED HER
I was promiscuous as a teen and it got even worse after my own divorce. I was hopeful and trusting that every guy I met was "the one" who would love and cherish me and take care of me. I'd meet a guy and already be fantasising about being married after 2 or 3 dates, if we even got to that point.
ADVICE FOR SOMEONE WHOSE PARENTS JUST SEPARATED OR DIVORCED
Find a trusted and neutral adult that you can talk to in confidence. Let them know that God will never abandon them.
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